The Student Newspaper of Oxford Academy

The Gamut

The Gamut

The Gamut

World’s Fraudulent Chocolate

World’s Fraudulent Chocolate (WFC) has proudly “funded” communities for years; however, in light of shocking evidence, some want to boycott the company. Allegedly, its chocolate funds come from a deep money laundering scheme. While it’s seemingly apparent they harbor fraud, it’s unfair — and downright unethical — to take away this fundraising source from children. By far, it remains the Finest source of fundraising. 

Coming from a Rihanna fan who tried finding new music, WFC records were leaked instead, revealing money laundering. The tweet was quickly taken down — but not before thousands retweeted in shock, including celebrities Prisha Taytas and Thrissy Ceigen. Ceigen was “utterly repulsed” and expects “quick action and a promise to do better.”

World’s Fraudulent did not make its plentiful growth from the masses of schools who fundraise with it — taking half of proceeds. Instead, histories darker than Dark Chocolate are alleged by the evidence and so-called indictment. Its true source of its Crisp bill stack comes from distributing white powder substances that aren’t as sweet as sugar. Detectives have currently found numerous organizations in relation to WFC’s suspicious trade routes.

But the real trade routes lead to schools and communities — children pressuring other children to pay for a chocolate bar (especially Caramel…) is the only acceptable option for fundraising. By teaching valuable lessons of marketing and finance, imagine what can be done advertising free items! 

Furthermore, “Fraudulent” being uttered is blatantly irreverent in relation to WFC. Writing “We fund communities,” on each box clearly shows their values. This “money laundering” directly supports communities. Maybe the real motive is corrupt lawmakers or chocolate haters, who want children to cry and schools to crumble.

Although there are supposedly more effective ways to fundraise, such as food or milk tea, Milk Chocolate bars reign superior. None have the same earnesty, and are much more tedious, than advertising the occasional Almond. Expecting children to work instead of forcing others to purchase chocolate shouldn’t be expected. WFC builds real-life skills that can support future business and recruitment endeavors.

When students can’t go to sixth grade science camp and see snow, anyone who boycotts “money laundering” as a “felony” can pat themselves on the back for prioritizing criminal procedures over children’s dreams. Continue to support World’s Finest Chocolate — personally and communally — to keep childrens’ dreams alive. It is the only Way(fer).

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World’s Fraudulent Chocolate