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Oxford Academy’s munchin’ new mascot

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Eric Cartman

Oxford Academy’s current mascot, Paul the Patriot, will soon be replaced by the new mascot chosen by Oxford’s student body: Ice Spice. The decision was made on Feb. 29 and will be executed entirely by the end of May, before the start of fifth quarter.

“Our old mascot didn’t really suit the Oxford population very well,” said 12th grader Cake Jhang after the mascot change was announced by the AUHSD (Academic University Hammering Students Down) Board of Trustees earlier this week. “It is exciting that the compatibility will be higher between the future mascot and Oxford as a whole, though.”

Other students have stated they enjoy Ice Spice’s energy, and Oxford is finally adapting to modern-day values where American patriotism has shifted from the founding fathers to music sensations like Ice Spice; they explain that this is why they’re puzzled about the reason Paul wasn’t replaced anytime sooner.

“Not only is [Ice Spice] the new mascot, but she’s even talented enough to write a brand new fight song for us — Paul hasn’t done anything for us, good riddance and suck it, Paul,” said Oxford alumni Deoxyribonucleic Acid.

Oxford’s populace seems to have come to a consensus on Ice Spice being the “superior” mascot when compared to Patriot Paul.

“‘You thought I was feelin’ you?’ Well, apparently not because that’s why Paul’s being replaced,” said freshman Agatha Gertrude Jones II when asked what they thought about the mascot change. “I also love how Ice Spice just outdoes Paul in every way, shape, and form. Literally.”

As of March, Oxford has been taking down all of the Patriot symbols around campus; art teacher Mrs. Handsun is working on painting a mural of Ice Spice on the side of the gym next to the volleyball courts.

Although there is currently a debate on the student’s new school-wide nickname, many students have voiced they are already proud to call themselves munches.

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Oxford Academy’s munchin’ new mascot