Superb seniors are highly esteemed for their networking abilities that know no age and their charismatic, captivating nature, reminiscent of baby sensory videos. However, rarely do their favorite underclassmen receive any recognition. The Damut is proud to feature some of Oxford’s brightest, most impressionable youth!
Generic Girls Basketball Athlete – Describe your type.
“I’m big on community. It’s scientifically proven that you like the people you spend more time around. So, I guess my type would be somebody on my team because we’d have a lot in common. I would like someone who’s been on varsity for a while and already signed off to college sports, like our seniors. They’re so experienced and talented.”
5’10 Sophomore Rounded Up To 6’2 – What do people like most about you?
“A lot of people have been telling me that I stand out from the rest of Oxford. I’m not really sure why, but they say that I’m just a head above the rest. My girlfriend also says that the guys in her grade just don’t measure up to me. I guess the class of 2024 dudes aren’t as funny as I am?”
Freshman Who Keeps Talking To The Senior TA- What are your thoughts on Romeo and Juliet?
“I’m reading that in my English 1H class right now! There’s a lot of big words, so I don’t really understand what Shakespeare is trying to say, but it’s so romantic and dreamy. I can relate to it a lot. Star-crossed lovers, Juliet’s almost 14… They should really allow everybody to be like Romeo and Juliet. Like, make it a law, or something.”
Eighth Grader That’s Just So Mature For Her Age – What is your favorite school memory?
“The seventh-grade snail games! I was so freaked out by those little critters, but I enjoyed it a lot. That was actually around the time when my boyfriend and I got together, and he asked me to prom. It was lonely since no one in my grade was there, but I got to know a lot of his junior friends. Yeah, scratch that: Prom is definitely my school highlight!”
Yet Another Freshman – Which do you like better: cheetahs, leopards, or cougars?
“When I go to the zoo, I usually go to the penguins or the elephants, but I guess if I had to choose, then cougars. Speaking of animals, when my girlfriend came to my eighth grade promotion, she drove me to the zoo afterward for a date. I’m so glad I’m dating someone who can drive.”
The underclassmen are bright, innocent rays of youth, which explains why they’re so much fun for upperclassmen to bond with. While these students aren’t going anywhere, they’ll certainly be preparing for their partners’ graduations, so on behalf of the seniors, thank you!
