After 15 years in the making, Taylor Swift’s face will be forever engraved in stone on Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota on April 1. The superstar has joined the four presidents in their station on Mt. Rushmore. The contractors, students of Oxford Academy’s Art Club, had been sworn to secrecy about the project to create a grander surprise for American citizens. However, with the project now finished, the truth can come to light.
Taylor Swift is carved on the right side of former president Abraham Lincoln’s face. She is the first and only woman to be engraved into Mt. Rushmore amongst the elderly gentlemen. When OA Art club was first asked to lead the project, they were instructed to encrust the pop artist’s face with jewels in homage to her song, “Bejeweled.” With sapphires, rubies, emeralds, and diamonds among the sparkly minerals being used, the gems alone are worth an estimate of $100 billion.
Fifteen years ago, the pop sensation was selected as the newest addition to Mt. Rushmore due to her major historical achievements. The original four presidents had been immortalized because they spear-headed important events in American history. Likewise, Taylor Swift, at only 34, was able to personally convert the NFL and Superbowl fanbase through the female population at her will and single-handedly exacerbated the global warming crisis.
“It was just so hot yesterday. I really need someone to do something about her plane,” said an anonymous anti-Swift.
With the announcement of Swift’s addition, many overexcited fans have been spotted trying to climb up her face using the jewels as stepholds. Videos collected by aviator drones showcase a pile of friendship bracelets the size of the Eiffel Tower on top of the pop star’s head. Security officials have been hard at work trying to detain the overzealous fans.
“We have repeatedly asked the United States Armed Forces for extra backup in handling this situation,” said Benjamin Button, Chief Official for the Mr. Rushmore National Memorial. “They have refused our calls, but please, the Swifties are simply too overwhelming for us.”
Though the project just finished, legislators are already thinking of other faces to join Taylor Swift. Although Ice Spice has been a popular pick by people on X, Swifties continue to voice their wish to see Swift’s boyfriend Travis Kelce’s face instead.
“Personally, I think all the Mt. Rushmore faces should be replaced with Taylor’s face. She has done more for the socioeconomic state of the world than any of those founding fathers,” said August Slippedaway, an avid fan.