Following student outcry for more film and media production classes, Oxford Academy announced a new Career Technical Education (CTE) pathway on Jan. 1 — TikTok Thirst Trapping (TTT) Production. Set to launch during the 2024-2025 school year, the pathway will prepare students for a profession in the ever growing, increasingly competitive TTT industry, teaching students the necessary skills to rizz up anyone.  

The pathway emerged during a RSVP summit in September 2023, as students voiced their desire for Oxford to offer TikTok film and media production classes, while also expressing their concerns over the lack of rizz guys at the school have. 

“They swear they’re God’s greatest creations…besides ChaptGPT of course. The greasy unwashed hair with fake wire glass combo really gets me,” sophomore Wikaela Moo said. 

Although the idea was initially sparked by the student body, parents were quick to voice their support. At a recent PTSA meeting, parents petitioned for the new pathway, many claiming the school had failed to recognize that the concerning majority of Oxford students couldn’t pull. 

“My son gets no girls. He has his own alpha male podcast  that no one listens to, and plays Valorant all day. That’s something a mom should never have to go through,” {funny name} said, mother of  sophomore Linh Cel. “This pathway has been long overdue, but I’m glad Oxford has finally come to their senses and is offering an actually useful class.” 

The first course in the pathway will offer students an introduction into the TTT industry, with lessons focusing on the history of rizz and prominent historical rizz figures like Vinnie Hacker, Lil Huddy, and Josh Richards. 

“The thirst trapping trailblazers of 2020’s quarantine phase pioneered the industry. We want students to effectively analyze the history of rizz before even attempting to pull,” said incoming teacher Pete Davidson, who created the curriculum for the pathway. 

In the second class of the pathway, students will learn strategies for making successful TikTok thirst traps. Content from the course includes lip syncing to sped up and slowed and reverb audios, making emotional POV videos, as well as staring into the screen and giving us nothing. 

“Bro, my ex told me I was musty and icky,” junior Bandits Isadore said. “I don’t know why, but hopefully this pathway will help me pull better guys.”

The third and final class will require students to create their own TikTok accounts. Students will be challenged to create weekly thirst trapping content and go viral on the platform, with more likes and follows translating to higher grades on assignments. Extra credit points will be given to students who garner “ur so fine,” “need this man fr,” and “GIMME ONE CHANCE PLS” comments.

“Our goal with these challenging assignments is to prepare students for a career in TikTok thirst trapping,” said Principal Dallas. “With starting salaries reaching up to three hundred thousand dollars, and employment rates skyrocketing each year, the pathway will give students a competitive advantage in the industry. ”

Following course selection for 2024-2025 school year, the new pathway caused a drop in student enrollment for Oxford’s other pathways, namely computer science. Known for their lack of both showering and pulling, nearly all computer science students fled to the new TTT pathway, causing Oxford to abolish its computer science classes. 

“We’ve seen a record number of students enroll in the TikTok thirst trapping pathway,” counselor Ban Darker said. “Over three-quarters of students are taking TTT classes next year. I’m glad we are finally seeing change at our school.”