Sun blaring, sweat dribbling off competitors’ faces, masses of students trampling one another across the campus: welcome to the 2024 OA Olympics. Stay tuned because the winners of these sports will get their very own sweet prize.
Fastest to the lunch lines
The true test of speed is the athletic ability to sprint to the lunch lines as soon as the bell rings. This year’s vigorous competitors, the underclassmen stare at the ticking clock with burning eyes as they ignore the last few minutes of their class; this race is as nerve-wracking as ever. As athletes race down the science stairs, they have to avoid stray backpacks, other students and so many more.
“I am a bit overwhelmed about the obstacles but with my handy rolling backpack, I have confidence I can whack anything in my way and run for my life.” Jessica Ufdfhwioedh said.
The fastest runner to the lines will win a very well-deserved pat on the back as well as judgemental looks from upperclassmen. They will definitely be respected by everyone. How exciting!
Longest hours spent doing homework consecutively
What defines an Oxford student other than spending long hours on homework? Armed with textbooks thicker than bricks and number 2 pencils sharpened sharper than a knife, several students fill classrooms ready to tackle mountains of assignments and essays. Who will back down from a mental explosion, sleepiness, or frustration?
“I have been training my whole life for this. I was the top student in my elementary school, this is nothing.” Theo the Unicorn said.
The longest hours spent will win a 20-minute nap before they are sent back to school to spend longer hours doing work. They will never feel more rested again.
Most creative pajama day
Every few spirit weeks, there are opportunities for people to wake up and leave for school with exactly what they wore to sleep (a.k.a pajamas). With the early elimination of the red and green plaid pant pajamas, students compete to unleash their creative aspect in their true fashion. With cute onesies, fuzzy slippers, robes, and adorable designs on pants and shirts, the competition to catch the attention of the judges is fiercer than ever before.
“This is probably the easiest of the OA Olympics because I can quite literally come to school without brushing my hair and get points added for details and creativity,” Gerald Travisnky Smoth said.
Whoever wears the most creative pajamas will win their very own heated blanket that they can carry around and fall asleep on anywhere. If you dare try to wake them up, have fun being whacked by them!
Competition is fierce this year, especially with the ferocious junior high students. Many students have trained their whole lives for this and some are newcomers. We look forward to the results and winners of each sport, good luck!