Marching into Principal Dallas’ office on April 1, OA Esports vehemently demanded time in the Oxford weight room. Conflicting with other spring sports, namely track and field, OA Esports argued to administration that their gamer practices take priority over primitive displays of physical prowess. They listed the upcoming CIF Esports state championships and their recent dominance, along with other weirder reasons, in their bid to take over the weight room.
A more convincing point in OA Esports’ proposition, the team has been on a tear as of late and is eyeing the CIF championship. OA Esports is currently fielding three different teams, devoted to League of Legends, Clash Royale, and Subway Surfers. Co-captain xXAlphaXx led the team to an undefeated regular season, and although he’s most known for his laser-fast reaction time on a gaming console, he’s been leading the charge in getting OA Esports into the weight room.
“I think it’s finally time for gamers to get equal rights and representation,” xXAlphaXx said. “Growing up, it was difficult to continuously be labeled ‘basement dweller’ and ‘sweaty gaming addict.’ Nowadays, our society is much more forward thinking and we need to keep fighting for that.”
In talks with administration, xXAlphaXx listed the need to prepare for the CIF Esports state championships. He pointed out the rigor of gaming and how the weight room meets perfect conditions that can’t be found elsewhere.
According to him and his gaming expertise, the very act of sitting is far more exhausting than standing. An inevitable part of the hardcore gamer experience, Oxford’s gamers must acclimate themselves to the discomfort of their bottom being continuously butt stained and compressed upon a seat for hours on end. The use of rigid, uncomfortable workout benches will prolong their endurance to sit unbothered for long, tiresome online battles.
The weight room also provides one commonality between athletes and gamers. At the state championship LAN, gamers will meet face-to-face and have to confront the sweaty odor of their opponents. In order to avoid discombobulation due to gamer sweat, they must practice under similar LAN conditions.
After hearing xXAlphaXx’s proposal, Principal Dallas will meet with actual student-athletes to decide whether OA Esports deserves time in the weight room. The track and field coaches and athletes have opposed any potential scheduling changes. They’ve stated they would be willing to share the weight room, but they’re far more concerned about “gamer rage.”
“We’ve got thousands of dollars worth of equipment in there.” Bolton Flash said. “Those lunatics [OA gamers] are deranged and in desperate need of professional therapists. Mark my words, track is gonna walk into the weightroom one day and see them rage-smashing all our stuff. I’m not gonna pretend like our school can pay for all that.”