From fresh Caesar salads to package-free fruits, the new lunch lineup at Oxford Academy has disgustingly replaced generational school lunch culture and is yet another extreme example of gentrification. To combat this movement, students must show resistance by voicing their anger and dismantling the outrageously bougie salad bar piece by piece.
Long gone are the days of beautifully beige “meat,” whole-grain rice with the texture of peasant gruel, and 90 grams of sugar Uncrustables the size of one’s palm. From bolstering immune systems, imbuing students’ brains with power and nutrients (or lack thereof), and creating stronger children through the Hunger Games-esque competition to get to the front of the lunch line, the plethora of benefits of traditional cafeteria meals are clear. Students have thrived with these mediocre lunch options for generations, but with the absence of such staple food groups in diets, the resulting weakened antibodies have facilitated the spread of several campus illnesses such as the mono outbreak after excessive PDA at the Homecoming dance. The salad bar simultaneously erases unique campus culture and places student health in jeopardy.
Despite these negative changes, demand for the salad bar remains concerningly high, as the sheep masses flock to the newest, hottest options. Instead of hopping on the bougie bandwagon, students must realize that the impact on the student body far outweighs getting a fresh lunch for a day. These “health benefits” do not make up for the unjust circumstances. The student body must protect the integrity of Oxford’s diverse, rich school lunch history and refuse any form of fresh food from the cafeteria; instead, students must commit themselves to expired baby carrots sourced from Cold War rations and dehydrated spicy “chicken” cutlets.
These movements toward gentrification must be handled swiftly and violently. By physically abusing and uprooting the salad bar with guerrilla tactics, like mixing together canned peaches with the salad or refusing to eat said healthy food options, a strong message will be sent to admin that could spell the end for the lunch menu issues. Without ample student resistance, Oxford students will lose all connection to their roots and tradition.
