In the dystopian landscape of woke liberal fantasies, the Charles Entertainment Cheese School District (CECSD) leads the way in releasing waves of progressive chaos. Their latest nefarious proposal will grant students the freedom to modify their hair color and implement a new curriculum to promote proper...

Move over, Kardashians — there’s a new sensation in Cypress, and it doesn’t involve Kan(ye) West or BBLs. Coming to OATV on Aug. 9, “The Real Objects of Oxford,” a groundbreaking reality show directed by the elusive Cinematic Cheese Rat Corp. (CCRC) squatting in Oxford’s infrastructure, promises...

The USDA’s “MyPlate” program recommends that students incorporate a balanced array of every food group to promote good health. But what if you’re here for a fun life, not a long one? Say hello to “FD&C Red no. 40 Aluminium Lake” or Red Dye 40, a coal tar delicacy banned in Europe, so...