The Student Newspaper of Oxford Academy

The Gamut

The Gamut

The Gamut

Photo collage by her daughter

Students form support group after being exposed by @oabadparking

her daughter <3, Opinion Editor April 1, 2024

Victims of the infamous vigilante Instagram account, @oabadparking, have recently formed a support group named oagoodparking to cope with their shared experiences of public humiliation for their embarrassing parking skills. Although experiences range...

Continue Reading
Photo by Chief Keef Adlib

World implodes: Matcha lattes are no more

Chief Keef Adlib, Art/Layout Editor April 1, 2024

Matcha lattes are being wiped from cafe menus to the dismay of avid student cafe goers. On March 14, matcha tea leaves around the world withered, shriveled, crumpled up and died due to unforeseen increasing carbon emissions, a likely result of increased...

Continue Reading
Photo by sapphic white boy

April 2024 Cover

April 1, 2024

Continue Reading
PDA at OA homecoming sparks new mono variant

PDA at OA homecoming sparks new mono variant

future wag!, Staff Writer April 1, 2024

Amidst their magical homecoming night in January, Oxford Academy students feared a delirium-invoking virus that ran rampant among the dancefloor residents. A brand new variant of mononucleosis, also known as the “kissing disease” infected nearly half...

Continue Reading
Photo by

April 2024 Centerfold

April 1, 2024

Continue Reading
Photo by Big Ear Tutu

Oxford Academy students are blacklisted from The Source

Big Ear Tutu, Staff Writer April 1, 2024

After decades of Oxford Academy students snooping around and disturbing customers, the Source OC, an established go-to hangout spot has permanently blacklisted Oxford Academy Patriots. This decision resulted from numerous customer complaints claiming...

Continue Reading
Photo by little victorian boy with tuberculosis

Patriot Burger loses Michelin Star with absence of Jhayne Jhaldu

little_victorian_boy_with_tuberculosis, Staff Writer April 1, 2024

The culinary award-winning Patriot Burger, served at the annual WOW games behind the Oxford Academy math building, has been severely affected by the temporary leave of Jhayne Jhaldu, one of two renowned grill masters alongside his twin brother Cheremy...

Continue Reading
Photo by Bandits Bussy Wussy Sangtan Bussystem Baby Bussn

Oxford reveals new TikTok thirst trapping pathway

hostess ding dong, Staff Writer April 1, 2024

Following student outcry for more film and media production classes, Oxford Academy announced a new Career Technical Education (CTE) pathway on Jan. 1 — TikTok Thirst Trapping (TTT) Production. Set to launch during the 2024-2025 school year, the pathway...

Continue Reading
Photo by Lordy Voldemoldy

Taylor Swift is bejeweled in Mt. Rushmore

Lordy Voldemoldy, Staff Writer April 1, 2024

After 15 years in the making, Taylor Swift’s face will be forever engraved in stone on Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota on April 1. The superstar has joined the four presidents in their station on Mt. Rushmore. The contractors, students of Oxford Academy’s...

Continue Reading
Photo by ipad kid :3

College Board mandates showering for AP Computer Science

ipad kid :3, Opinion Editor April 1, 2024

As of March 1st, a new College Board update requires all AP Computer Science (APCS) students to complete an additional performance task: showering. The decision was made after numerous complaints from faculty and students about toxic fumes spilling out...

Continue Reading
Photo by essentialsglazer

Stüssy-8 outbreak overtakes OC, declared a county-wide epidemic

essentialsglazer, Staff Writer April 1, 2024

The Orange County Health Care Agency (OCHCA) has officially declared the rapid spread of virus Stüssy-8 a “county-wide epidemic.” Cases are erupting particularly in local high schools, as students spread the “trending” Stüssy-8 amongst themselves....

Continue Reading
Photo by Superb Underclassman

Oxford Academy must segregate middle and high schoolers

Superb Underclassman, Managing Editor April 1, 2024

Oxford Academy is the only 7-12 school in the district. There is a reason the trend isn’t catching on elsewhere. It is imperative to separate these two age groups as a matter of safety and concern for their fundamental differences. Oxford middle...

Continue Reading
Donate to The Gamut
$0
$500
Contributed
Our Goal

Activate Search
The Student Newspaper of Oxford Academy
The Damut