By day, Mr. Barsnett collects greenies from Oxford Academy students — but by night, he stacks dough in the recording studio. Weaving together breezy lo-fi beats and a flow as hot as the school salad bar fries, Oxford’s own ASB technician Mr. Barsnett has become a household name in music. Barsnett...

As a late St. Patrick’s Day gift, a live-action version of “Jujutsu Kaisen,” was released, featuring everyone’s favorite short Irish king Cillian Murphy as Gojo Satoru. Through method acting, Murphy channeled delusion and underwent cosmetic surgeries to become the truest depiction of anime Gojo,...

After her hit album “I Love You Jesus” in 2017 which contained bangers like “A Jesus Bop,” “Jesus Rises (Easter Song)” and the titular “I Love You Jesus,” camp icon Trisha Paytas announced a major career shift after the 825 citizens of Vatican City campaigned for her to become the next...

Move over, Kardashians — there’s a new sensation in Cypress, and it doesn’t involve Kan(ye) West or BBLs. Coming to OATV on Aug. 9, “The Real Objects of Oxford,” a groundbreaking reality show directed by the elusive Cinematic Cheese Rat Corp. (CCRC) squatting in Oxford’s infrastructure, promises...

Oxford Academy: a tiny, claustrophobic bubble of people you’ve known since you were 11. That can really do something to a person’s psyche — and worse, to their dating options. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell if that hallway crush is an actual crush or the result of being surrounded by emotionally...

Situationships plague Oxford Academy’s lonely academic burnouts, as a consequence of Patriots’ utter inability to commit to a relationship. But these agonizing, often three months of back-and-forth conversations should not be cures for students’ bleak lives. So The Damut has decided to scientifically...

The USDA’s “MyPlate” program recommends that students incorporate a balanced array of every food group to promote good health. But what if you’re here for a fun life, not a long one? Say hello to “FD&C Red no. 40 Aluminium Lake” or Red Dye 40, a coal tar delicacy banned in Europe, so...

Looking to spice up your Oxford experience? If yes, then joining the spiritual secret societies located near campus would be an excellent way to spend your free time. Here are a couple of curated and niche communities you might be interested in.    Gym Bro Paradise  If you’re searching...

As the ‘older siblings of high school,’ seniors fit the role of admirable idols for underclassmen. Captivating younger students with their magnetic charm, great achievements, and comfortable friendliness, seniors use these impressions to their advantage, turning senior crushes into long-lasting relationships....

Superb seniors are highly esteemed for their networking abilities that know no age and their charismatic, captivating nature, reminiscent of baby sensory videos. However, rarely do their favorite underclassmen receive any recognition. The Damut is proud to feature some of Oxford’s brightest, most impressionable...

Marching into Principal Dallas’ office on April 1, OA Esports vehemently demanded time in the Oxford weight room. Conflicting with other spring sports, namely track and field, OA Esports argued to administration that their gamer practices take priority over primitive displays of physical prowess. They...