Victims of the infamous vigilante Instagram account, @oabadparking, have recently formed a support group named oagoodparking to cope with their shared experiences of public humiliation for their embarrassing parking skills. Although experiences range from an inch of a tire crossing the line to parking...

Matcha lattes are being wiped from cafe menus to the dismay of avid student cafe goers. On March 14, matcha tea leaves around the world withered, shriveled, crumpled up and died due to unforeseen increasing carbon emissions, a likely result of increased private jet usage.  The sheer economic damage...

Amidst their magical homecoming night in January, Oxford Academy students feared a delirium-invoking virus that ran rampant among the dancefloor residents. A brand new variant of mononucleosis, also known as the “kissing disease” infected nearly half of the Oxford students who attended the dance....

After decades of Oxford Academy students snooping around and disturbing customers, the Source OC, an established go-to hangout spot has permanently blacklisted Oxford Academy Patriots. This decision resulted from numerous customer complaints claiming that these students hogged photobooths and had superiority...

The culinary award-winning Patriot Burger, served at the annual WOW games behind the Oxford Academy math building, has been severely affected by the temporary leave of Jhayne Jhaldu, one of two renowned grill masters alongside his twin brother Cheremy Chitman.  Long gone are the days of Oxford students...

Following student outcry for more film and media production classes, Oxford Academy announced a new Career Technical Education (CTE) pathway on Jan. 1 — TikTok Thirst Trapping (TTT) Production. Set to launch during the 2024-2025 school year, the pathway will prepare students for a profession in the...

After 15 years in the making, Taylor Swift’s face will be forever engraved in stone on Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota on April 1. The superstar has joined the four presidents in their station on Mt. Rushmore. The contractors, students of Oxford Academy’s Art Club, had been sworn to secrecy about the...

As of March 1st, a new College Board update requires all AP Computer Science (APCS) students to complete an additional performance task: showering. The decision was made after numerous complaints from faculty and students about toxic fumes spilling out of the 300 building at Oxford Academy— notably,...

The Orange County Health Care Agency (OCHCA) has officially declared the rapid spread of virus Stüssy-8 a “county-wide epidemic.” Cases are erupting particularly in local high schools, as students spread the “trending” Stüssy-8 amongst themselves. Though Oxford Academy firmly bans infected...

Oxford Academy is the only 7-12 school in the district. There is a reason the trend isn’t catching on elsewhere. It is imperative to separate these two age groups as a matter of safety and concern for their fundamental differences. Oxford middle schoolers have become too confident for comfort. Think...